Me 61 male and my wife 59 female have been married for 38 years we have five children 3 boys aged 31/ 29/28 and 2 girls aged 36 /40,the oldest is from my wife’s first marriage. We have 17 grandchildren I found out that my wife has been in an on and off Affair with my cousin since our wedding day, she told me by mistake not realising what she said . After denying it she suddenly can clean and told me everything it started 4 hours after we got married at our reception.He started touching her behind she said she told him to stop ,but six months after our wedding the started an Affair which lasted one and half years then 2 years after that my mother died and she said she felt sorry for him and they started up again .We lost our 2nd baby but she told me it wasn’t mine it was my farther s they where on and off until he died in 2018,she also had a one night stand 2 months into our relationship IAM so devastated I just feel like ending it all I’ve never felt so much pain in my life I need help IAM so lost and broken hearted

Thanks