Laughter really is the best medicine, and what better way to begin the day than with a good laugh? Here are some funny jokes about the ups and downs of being married, with some funny maids, some clueless husbands, and even a few plot turns you won’t see coming.
These jokes are a great way to remember that funny things can happen in the strangest places, even when things are going badly in a marriage. So take it easy and enjoy these funny stories that show the funny side of love, life, and the odd fight between spouses. The point is that laughter brings people together and makes them happy. These stories are sure to make you laugh.
Maid Wants a Pay Raise
The boss’s wife got mad when the maid asked for a raise.
“Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay raise?” the wife asked.
Helen said, “There are three reasons.” “The first is that I iron better than you.”
“Who said that?” asked the wife.
Helen said, “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen said, “The second reason is that I cook better than you.”
“Who said that?” asked the wife.
Helen said, “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
I’m a better lover than you, which is the third reason.
“Did your husband also say that?” asked the wife.
Helen said, “No, the gardener did.”
“So, how much do you want?” asked the wife.
Surprise at the Store
A man is in the grocery store when he sees a pretty woman waving at him. When she says hello, he’s surprised because he can’t remember where he met her before.
He then asks, “Do you know me?”
She tells him, “I think you’re the dad of one of my kids.”
Now he thinks about the only time he cheated on his wife and asks, “My God, are you the woman from my bachelor party that I made love to near the pool? And then started crying. I realized I cheated on my wife and beat myself for this.”
She looks him in the eyes and says, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
Six Feet Under the Sheets
When a wife heard her husband’s key in the door, she was in bed with her lover. She told him to “stay where you are.” “He’s so drunk that he won’t even notice that you’re with me in bed.”
The husband fell into bed quickly, but a few minutes later, when he wasn’t so drunk, he saw six feet sticking out from the end of the bed.
“Hey, there are six feet in this bed,” he told his wife. There should only be four. “What’s going on?”
The wife said, “You’re so drunk you forgot to count.” Get up and try again. That way, you can see better.
The husband got out of bed and did the math. “One, two, three, four.” “Damn, you’re right.”
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