Story of my wife who Ieft me 2 weeks after getting married and sued me for divorce and accused me of rape and wanted $20,000 in settlement. But it’s not your typical “gold digger who wanted money” story. No no no… this story isn’t like that at all. It gets weird. I am still very much puzzled and I would like to know what you think.
This is how I ruined my life.
I am a Korean American who grew up in the U.S. and I spent my 20s in South Korea teaching English. And I met a girl. Cute little Korean girl.
We worked in the same building for about a year just as friends and then we began dating. We got married after 3 months of dating. Guam was our honeymoon and we got an apartment in Korea and started to live together. I remember a lot of giggIes and countless hours just hugging each other on the bed. Feeling each other breathe. It was wonderful.
Two weeks after the wedding, one day my wife returned from grocery shopping and she just went batshit insane. Her face was slightly red and she started to scream at me and threw the groceries all over the floor.
This sudden escalation was so unprovoked and uncharacteristic of her normal behavior I was just completely flabbergasted. Like what the fu ck? It was so random and shocking that I wasn’t feeling angry at all but immediately started to suspect there was something seriously wrong. Hormone issues? I don’t know. I tried to calm her down as best I could and I called my mother-in-law (MIL from now on). MIL immediately called my wife and they taIked for a good hour alone over the phone. And then MIL called me again and told me to send her back to Daegu (where my wife’s family lives).
She told me that my wife is sick and needs to go to the hospital in Daegu. I told her that I will take her to the big hospital near where we are but then MIL freaked out and told me NOT to do that and only bring her to Daegu where she knows a good hospital. My wife wanted to go to Daegu as well so I drove her back. She seemed a lot caImer so I dropped her off and drove back and went to work the next day.
There was absolutely no contact over the next two days. I called my wife, MIL, father-in-law (FIL from now on), her brother, grandparents, but NOBODY answered my call. This zero communication was just so frustrating so I just drove to Daegu again to see what the fu ck was going on. When I arrived, MIL and FIL both let me in and they had me sit down with them.
And they began to tell me that my wife is now very mentally ill and she needs long term treatment. For some reason, I did not suspect this answer at all. I just thought this was just some sudden stress induced ‘tantrum’ that can be seen from some women going through life changes. Sort of like – how even good girls can turn into bridezillas during wedding prep. That’s what I honestly thought it was. I was so shocked at how my wife – whom I knew for the previous year and dated and married could be mentally ill so suddenIy. I didn’t see any crazy behavior from her at all before. MIL and FIL then took me to the mental hospital.
Before we met the doctor, MIL sat me down and told me two ruIes: “1. Do not tell the doctor that you are her husband. Pretend that you are her cousin. 2. Do not say anything or ask questions. Just listen to what the doctor has to say.”
I was just so stressed and in shock – I agreed to everything. I just wanted to see my wife. The doctor came in and told us that my wife has the following conditions: severe depression, depersonaIization, and dissociative disorder. What the fu ck? I didn’t know what any of those were and I had a million questions. But MIL abruptly ended the meeting and pulled me away from the doctor and we went outside. I observed my MIL paying for the hospital visit in cash and she did not use the Korean national health insurance at all. (I later learned that this was not to leave any paper trails of the visit that can be looked up in national health insurance records).
MIL and FIL both emphasized that she is sick because of the wedding and marriage that happened. They told me that I should have been more accommodating to their daughter and treated her better. I apologized to them and they told me to go back and wait quietly.
So I did. (Some of you might wonder why I didn’t press the issue further – but in Korean culture -especially to the in-laws- I was not supposed to disrespect them by going against their words. Especially when my wife was so ill… I thought leaving it to whatever they felt comfortable was best for her)
Days went by and still 0 contact. I got very anxious and tried all means of communication to my wife, brother-in-law (BIL from now on), her grandparents, and MIL & FIL, but nobody responded. So I drove up to where BIL worked and tried to talk to him in person about what’s happening. When he saw me, he Iiterally ran downstairs to run away from me. What the fu ck? But it was a small building and I caught up to him and he was very nervous. When I tried to talk to him – all he said was “it’s between you two! I don’t know anything!” and he ran away again. This time I didn’t follow him. I was completely shocked yet again about what just happened. About 10 minutes Iater, MIL called me (finally) and she told me to leave her son alone and just talk to her instead.
She then told me that my wife is still very sick and she needs more time until she can return to me. She was insistent that the best thing for me to do was just wait until she recovers. I decided to stay put.
A week went by and my MIL and FIL suddenly appeared at my door. I let them in and MIL started to gather my wife’s things. I asked what was happening and FIL suddenly told me “you are not supposed to have oraI s ex.” What the fu ck? Then he explained to me that the reason why my wife is so suddenly sick is because I forced her to have oraI s ex and performed oraI s ex on her.
He explained that this is a very despicable thing to do and I should be ashamed. Completely taken back (yet again) I explained that I never forced her to do anything and what we did was consensual and she did not have any issues whatsoever.
Furthermore, I told them that what we do as married couples on a bed is really private and should not be a topic of discussion – even from her parents. But FIL and MIL refused to reason with me and just kept telling me that having oraI s ex is a terrible thing and any woman will be mentally ill after engaging in such shameful behavior. Then I completely lost my shit and yelled at them for the first time “WELL THEN FUC KING 99% OF THE WORLD IS MENTALLY UNSTABLE? DON’T SIT THERE AND PRETEND THAT YOU GUYS NEVER DO IT” I then told them to get out and they left with some of my wife’s belongings.
A few days later – I received divorce lawsuit papers in my mailbox. My wife was suing me for divorce and $20,000 in settIement. She claimed that I raped her continuously during the 2 week marriage and I abused her emotionally and mentally. She wrote that she now has all these mental conditions because I se xuaIIy abu sed her.