Now, honestly, tell me, is there a minimum age to wear a swimsuit? I know that most of you kind people out there would say, “Hell no, Patsy!” with joy in your hearts. Let me tell you, though: my own daughter-in-law is the one member of this family who appears to have a different perspective!

Now, let me back up a little before you get too worked up. My husband Donald and I, who are both in our late sixties, had just returned from our eagerly anticipated trip to Miami Beach a week before.

We had never gone anywhere together as the two of us, the lovebirds, until those noisy grandkids took over our living room. Let me tell you, the Florida sunshine really helped our rekindled romance!

All of us felt like kids again.

We took lengthy walks hand in hand down that pristine white beach, and every morning we dared ourselves to rise at seven in the morning instead of our customary five. We also indulged in an abundance of delicious seafood that would have made our arteries sing.

I was wearing this amazing black two-piece swimsuit one afternoon, and Donald complimented me nonstop. We paused to share a short kiss, the kind that still gives you butterflies in your stomach after all these years.

Unexpectedly, a charming young girl approached us with a beaming smile on her face. Before we knew it, she had pulled out her phone to record that very moment, with me in my go-to black two-piece and Donald in his outlandish floral swimming trunks (bless his daring heart!).

A tear filled my eye, honey, as I looked at that photo.

Yes, we were no longer teenagers, but could you believe the love in that photo? Authentic, radiant, and youthful in core. I even plucked up the bravery to ask the little darling to send it over because, you know, it was sort of a memento.

When I got home, the sun was still shining and felt like a warm, pleasant memory on my skin. I couldn’t help but post that photo on Facebook.

The comments area quickly filled up, surpassing the speed of a Thanksgiving pie dish.

“Couple goals!” and “You two look adorable, Patsy!” and other endearing remarks.

Then, whoosh! My good mood was abruptly dampened when I saw my daughter-in-law Janice’s comment:

“How on earth is it possible for her to display her wrinkly body in a swimsuit? And it’s horrible, really, to kiss her husband at her age. Really, how ugly does she look? ”

My mouth dropped to the ground. “Wrinkled” ? “Grosssss” ? After reading the message again, every word seemed like a rusty nail driven deep into my heart.

Again, heated and enraged tears welled up. I could be certain that Donald would be furious. I snapped a quick picture of the comment right away, and presto! It simply disappeared.

I realized then that there was a strange aspect to the removed comment. To make matters worse, Janice must have intended to send it in private. It was hurtful and cunning, that’s for sure.

I’m not one to back down from a fight, especially when it comes to maintaining my dignity in spite of my wrinkles. Not at all, please. Janice required a harsh reality check that would shake her immaculately manicured nails. However, how?

That’s when my face broke into a naughty smile. I had a scheme so fantastic that it would affect my daughter-in-law, who is quite the critic, for a long time.

“Donald,” my husband heard me say. “We need to talk about that upcoming family barbecue.“

With a half-eaten bag of peanut butter cookies gripped in his palm, Donald lumbered into the living room. I inhaled deeply, attempting to smother the growing rage within me.

I was not sure if I should show him the screenshot I had taken of the offensive comment, so I paused. The thought of seeing Janice’s hateful remarks in black and white would drive him insane. No, a larger audience was required for this revelation.

“I was thinking,” I said to Donald, “what if we invited all our family members and friends for the barbecue, honey?“

His eyebrow went up. “Why not, of course, my love? Let me send you a quick message on our family’s chat group!” He smiled, chirped, and walked away.

A sly smile stretched over my face. “Time for a little payback!” To myself, I mumbled. The family cookout that was coming up sounded like the ideal occasion.

“You’re in for a surprise, Janice,” I said with a smile and an amused twinkle in my eyes.

This was no longer just about getting even. The goal was to demonstrate to Janice—and to everyone else, for that matter—that getting older isn’t just a number and that a few wrinkles never hurt anyone.

My daughter-in-law was about to have a taste of her own medicine as the payback mission began. This is going to be a juicy story, so fasten your seatbelts, everyone.

The scent of sizzling burgers and Donald’s renowned potato salad filled the air as the Saturday sun shone down on our garden. Teenagers were chasing each other around the spray, and grandkids were shrieking with glee. There was laughter and talk all around.

Everyone was there, including my son Shawn’s silly college pal Mark and my lovely niece Brenda. It was the ideal location for our family cookout.

Well, with the exception of Janice. It was not unusual for her, she was stylishly late.

Eventually, I caught a glimpse of Janice walking in with a high-end handbag hanging from her arm. With a rehearsed smile on her face, she looked around the room. ideal timing.

The sound of silverware clinking stopped for a while as I cleared my throat. Everybody turned to look at me; there was an odd mixture of hopeful smiles and faces smeared with ketchup.

“Okay, everyone, calm down for a minute,” I said with a little twinkle in my eyes as Janice walked in and sunk into a chair. “I want to share a special moment from my trip to Miami with Donald.“

I flicked through my phone’s pictures until I came upon the perfect one—the one that caught that snatched kiss on the sand.

The crowd let out a collective “aww” in admiration of the picture. Donald, god bless him, even slightly swelled out his chest with a teasing smile on his lips.

I held up the photo so that everyone could see it and said, “This picture represents love and companionship that has lasted through the years.” “It’s a reminder that love doesn’t fade with age; it grows stronger.”

“Oh, Patsy, that’s beautiful!” With a feigned excitement in her voice, Janice chirped. “You look so… sporty in that swimsuit!“

I couldn’t resist giving her a wry smirk. I drewled, stopping for dramatic effect, “Thank you, dear.” “But not everyone understands this, you see?“

The throng quieted down. Then I had the screen grab of Janice’s nasty remark shining brightly on my phone, with her name and profile photo exposed.

“Unfortunately,” I said, “someone in this very room thought it was appropriate to age-shame me and my love for my husband.“

There was silence in the room. A pin could have dropped. Then all eyes turned to Janice. The color evaporated from her face, and the smile vanished as quickly as a snowball on a July afternoon. Desperate to discover a way out, her gaze flew all around the room.

“I look at Janice, and I want to make something very clear,” I said.